I have seen us here -the ones from OBT, replying to Tim and calling him only "T" ....

And I wanted us to remember WHY we started doing that
* which was to protect Tim from automatic banning the moment a mod became aware that he had crept back, needing us.

And I wanted us to recognize that here we don't have to be scared to recognize him as Tim, alone since Brenda died last year .. and we can address him from now on as Tim, not "T"

And we no longer have to refrain from mentioning Tim when he disappears, "afraid of catching it too."

And we can do as we do for the rest of our family -- when we wonder about one another when a period of stress and distress are followed by a sudden unexplained absence. We can mention him. We can ask about him and ask him to check in with us.

It makes me feel good that Tim has come SO FAR that he is able to express himself so eloquently, his intellect and intelligence shining brightly. In the past, Tim would blow up when he was hurt, say things he later regretted...

And, of course, he was always coming back with a brand new name. Mostly this was because his old account had been banned.

But a couple of times, I saw him come back after an absence with a new name, even tho he hadn't been banned. And I didn't understand why that was. This week I finally learned. When Tim registers, he has come to choose a password that he will never remember. And he registers with a temporary mail account that elapses within a short time. Why?

Because as this forum became more and more important to him, he created this way of joining so that when he became upset, he would briefly refrain from posting an angry response - and during that crucial moment, he would instead log out. And, given that the mail account no longer existed, he could not retrieve his password.

Yes, he could have immediately rejoined and exress his outrage. But this forum meant enough to him where he didn't do that. He waited til the upset was over and he could manage to put what happened in the past (mostly) and give it a new try. He did that for us. He did that for himself.

So when Tim comes back this time, he will be with another screenname, but he is not trying to hide or sneak around -- he simply has to get a new one. When you suddenly see posted links again, we no longer have to pretend we don't recognize him. We can enthusiastically welcome him home. And call him Tim.

This is a new world.

And a warm welcome to Chemar and KimmyDawn, our new mods.

Theresa