You know, I didn't realize HOW LONG MY POST WAS. But I really did mean every word. There is my life, my whole life, jeez.
We become the people we are, because of our experiences. I truly believe they shape us. And if we have been lucky enough to have loving parents, then we have a good foundation. But for some of us, we weren't so lucky.
My mother used to hide food in the closet. I remember opening the linen closet to find loaves of bread. I must have been 16. I said "what on earth are you doing, putting food in with the dish towels?" My mother just yelled "well, you eat everything in sight". She said this in front of other people.
My mother was 5 feet tall and little. She was fat as a child, but she lost it at 18 and was so compulsive, she had to be in control.
I remember going out to lunch with her and her friend and I was in my 20's. It was at Nathans. We all had frankfurters and french fries.
I will never forget as long as I live what she did to me in front of the other person. I had a french fry in my fork. She literally knocked it out of my hand saying "you need this like a hole in the head".
See, this crap stays in your head, and makes you feel worthless. So what did I do?? Why I ATE MORE?? I coped with life, by eating.
I guess I've learned better coping mechanisms, huh??? lol
P.S. The next time you see a cereal box, say out loud "Garbage, Garbage". they used to teach us this at Overeaters Anonymous (I went 40 years ago). I remember when the ice cream man came down the block and I shouted "Garbage, Garbage". I really did this. lol