The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again
asked readers to take any word from the dictionary,
alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter
and supply a new definition.

Here are this year's winners.

1. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which
lasts until yourealize it was your money to start with.

2. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

3. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people
that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone
layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down
in the near future.

4. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which
renders the subject financially impotent for an
indefinite period.

5. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

6. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic
wit and the person who doesn't get it.

7. Inoculatte : To take coffee intravenously when you
are running late.

8. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.

9. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got
extra credit.)

10. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending
off all these reallybad vibes, right? And then, like, the
Earth explodes and it's, like, aserious bummer.

11. Decafalon (n.): The gruelling event of getting
through the day consuming only things that are
good for you.

12. Glibido: All talk and no action.

13. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to
seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

14. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance
performed just after you've accidentally walked
through a spider web.

15. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito,
that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning
and cannot be cast out.

16. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding
half a worm in the fruit you're eating.

And the #1 pick:

17. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an
asshole.

I can see myself using, Bozone layer, glibido, sarchasm and ignoranus, often...