I know it is hard to adapt to the losses along the way, and I've had to make many adjustments . . . but the one thing I am thankful for is that the changes I've had to make have happened over months to years, not overnight.
There have been times (like when I was paralyzed) that I thought "this is it", I'm going to be stuck in this bed forever. Many times I thought I couldn't get so lucky as to walk again. Somehow, I've always recovered enough that I could be thankful for what I still had left.
The hardest things to adapt to were:
1. Giving up my grandious career goals.
2. Keeping up with the kids.
3. Leaving the workforce.
4. Not being able to travel any more.
The good part about those things is that I have been able to spend more quality time with my kids, and I have reduced stress so that I think I can prolong the toll this disease could have had on me by now.
Each time I've had to make a decision, I've "bargained" with myself through the process, like:
- trying an easier job
- working from home several days
- working flextime each day
- etc.
I always started out thinking "I can manage that", and when I couldn't any more, I would move to Plan C, D . . E. I am thankful I didn't have to give it all up in one fell-swoop as I think I would have crashed emotionally.
So, I would suggest you just keep adapting things, for as long as you can . . . and continue to BELIEVE you can do whatever the new "it" is. It may very well be that with accommodations and/or improvements to your health, you can do have a career for many more years. Right now it is a career . . . but once you have time on your hands (with no deadlines), you will probably find a nice little niche to continue to enjoy your horticulture passion.
You will know when you've had enough, once managing the MS becomes a full-time job.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Av8rgirl
Maybe it's that "out of control" feeling I have at the moment. I had a situation recently that put me on the defensive and I didn't like how it made me feel. There was no reason for it other than I felt as if my credentials were being challenged. It was petty and immature on my part and the other person was probably totally unaware of what had happened. I decided to use it as a learning experience. One of my mentors always reminded me that when you stop learning from those around you, it's time to stop doing what you are doing. Of course, he was a flight instructor and he was referring to students, but I think it applies to any field. You can always learn something from students or colleagues if you want to...I felt on the defensive and failed to see the forest for the trees. I wasn't ready to give up my leadership role but realized that sharing might not be that bad.
|
“Control” of the “pieces” was one of the first things I gave up, once I got my degree. I delegated everything that I could (especially once I had MS), and realized my new role was to be the orchestrator or coach. It was my job to impart my knowledge, and it was their job to make me look damn good because I taught them well.
I took management jobs that I knew nothing about the industry, and when I got to know it well enough, I moved onto other industries. I didn’t need to know how to drive a 18-wheeler, or shave a poodle properly (although I could, but no one knew) . . . my job was to make sure I had a contented and competent group of people that were empowered to do their job well. I built structure and policy, and I let everyone else do what they did best. Ultimatley, that is why I was very successful in business.
It’s an old book now, but I would suggest you read “13 Fatal Errors Managers Make, and How to Avoid Them”. It really will help you to adapt to any new limitations, both personally and professionally.
Cherie
__________________
I am not a Neurologist, Physician, Nurse, or Hairdresser ... but I have learned that it is not such a great idea to give oneself a haircut after three margaritas
.