Abasaki,
These things are indeed frightening.
Try to hold yourself together knowing that you will see a pdoc soon.
The pdoc might want to give you a mood stabilzer and might want to have you drop more of the anti-depressants.
Print out your posts here to bring in with you.
Mari
http://www.bipolar.ucsd.edu/general_information.htm
Quote:
MIXED EPISODES
. . . During a mixed state, individuals experience a full range of both depression and irritable mania symptoms, simultaneously. They feel the painful inner tension of depression along with the overstimulation, increased goal directed activity, and impulsivity seen in mania.
Anxiety can also be a prominent feature of mixed mood states--a type of anxious pessimism full of self-reproach, worry and discouragement. This can prove to be a very destructive combination for many individuals because the risk of substance abuse, panic disorder, suicide attempts, and other complications increases greatly with mixed states.
The resulting clinical picture can be quite complex and can therefore often be overlooked. Research has indicated, however, that approximately 40% of manic episodes have prominent depressive elements.
A major roadblock when treating someone with a mixed mood state is the possibility of exacerbating symptoms with the use of antidepressants alone. For example, when an individual comes in for treatment, they most often present with a distressed or sad appearance, expressing feelings of hopelessness/ helplessness, inadvertently masking any symptoms of mania that might also be present.
Unless the clinician specifically asks about manic symptoms and/or a family history, the person may be given medication treatment with an antidepressant alone.
In many people with bipolar disorder, the administration of anti-depressant medications without a mood stabilizer can cause the onset of manic symptoms, activate rapid cycling, or other complications.
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