Dale, I too have come away from meetings with similar feelings. As the leader of a support group, month after month, I would see the decline too. A couple of months ago I had my eyes opened to the fact that I had been assuming that a member was doing very poorly. From time to time, we didn't have a speaker, and when this would happen we would have round table discussion, which everyone enjoys doing. During this most recent round table, we got on the subject of what every one does with their time.

Here is a excerpt from a posting I made to another message board a couple of months back.

I have 16 PWPs in my NYS support group. One is 52, and in my learned 16-years-with-PD opinion, doing quite well. But he chooses to have his wife drop him off at this parents home weekdays so that he can sit in a chair all day and have his mom take care of him. He has even stopped coming to meeting, so I formed a "phone buddy" group that is calling him "just to chat". [NOTE of today: He had given up ALL outside activities and his hobby. The phone buddy system seems to be helping.]

The second is 74. His wife always comes with him to the meetings. He has been in our group since last year, when the group began. He is very quiet, very stooped, and very off most of the time. I have always been sad for him UNTIL recently. When we don't have a speaker we have general discussion, which everyone seems to enjoy more. Recently I have discovered that this 74 year old man, whom I have felt so sad for, 1) tutors students, 2) does tax returns during tax season, 3) takes a daily walk with his wife along their road, and 4) volunteers at a community center.

Neither of these men is right or wrong in what they are doing. It is all relative...right? But, it is clear to me that one let go of "the familiar", while the other grieves for it and refuses to let go.

My signature in this board had included this quote, which is where "the familiar" comes from: Courage is the power to let go of the familiar...Raymond Lindquist

The single event re-opened my eyes to the fact that it doesn't matter how poorly one my appear to be, it is what we do with our time that matters the most. Enjoyment of life is a matter of personal perspective.

I left this at the end of the posting.

I will stop now and leave with two more of my favorite quotes:

One's dignity may be assaulted, vandalized and cruelly mocked, but cannot be taken away unless it is surrendered. ~~ Michael J. Fox, in "Saving Milly" by Morton Kondrake

I don't want to get to the end of my life and find that I have just lived the length of it. I want to have lived the width of it as well. ~~ Diane Ackerman