My dad does not want me to visit him. He said leave him out of my problems. My sister said she's not going to help support me. She has judged me,and turned her back on me. I've just emailed them both ,and told them that there hearts are cold,and they have lost their love,and concern for me.

I feel like riding out into the night. I have nothing to live for. I have no children. I've never married. Now my family have expressed there lack of concern for me,and I guess they don't care if I would die. If I die,they would be glad,because I'd be a burden off of their shoulders.

Then they'd cremate me ,and bury me as cheaply as they can. I know what my sister did to my mother,and she didn't want to be cremated. My sister has her remains,and has not buried her yet. This is cold. This is my family. They criticize their relatives. It makes me ashamed at there cold heartedness.

They have never considered me a real human being,and now I'm wondering if one of my family members wants me to end it all. I wish that I could. I may not wake up in heaven though. I'm deeply grieved,and wish that I where dead,but there is no escape.

Even our own President has no regard for us. He want's us to copay 50 percent of our medicare treatment for mental disorders. I'm thinking,how in the heck can I do that. I'm loosing all of my money waiting for SSD. If I could work,I'd be exempt from SSD. I'm loosing all of my money,and soon I'm going into my Lifes Savings 401K. How can we, if we have been sick all of our lives,and been unfairly paid,and used,and made a laughing stock of the group,and Social Security Disability has no regard for us,and rejected from our families,pay 50 percent copay for expensive mental disorder treatment. This makes no sense. It shows there's no concern,or consideration for me by my family,or government,the USA.

I'm absolutely,and undeniable sick of it all,and was shaking physically with emotion,anger,and shock at my family not caring for me anymore. I'm sick,and I cannot get the help that I need because of money,and cold heartedness on many sides of the family,and system in this country that is growing into a unhealthy idealism of politics,and status,and money. Everyone has a breaking point. Enough is enough. I'm sick of this. I'd like to end it all. Brokenfriend Doing better now (Saturday late afternoon)