((((((BF)))))),



I wish I could say something that would make it all better or that would make you feel better I didn't want to just read your message and not respond at all (especially when I'm having such a huge response in here ).

I know what it's like to have total shi*s for relatives -- I don't have anything at all to do with most of mine

You do know, I hope, that your value has absolutely nothing to do with any of them, right??

One way to get psychiatric care when you don't have the funds or you don't have the insurance is to get into a clinical trial. If there are any teaching hospitals near you, get in touch with them and see if they have anything that can help you. Some of them are trying new drugs or new methods of helping people that are having trouble coping.

I have some bookmarks for clinical trials, take a look and see if you can find something that might help: http://public.murl.com/moose53/HEALT...LINICAL_TRIALS (press the [page-down] key 4 times to get to the appropriate section)

I don't know what it's like to be saddled with a bipolar diagnosis, but, I do have borderline personality disorder (which is supposed to be a 'cousin' of bipolar) and also major depressive episodes since the age of 16.

I wish that no one had to suffer through what you and I have had to. Sadly, there's still a huge lack of knowledge about exactly what living with mental health disorders means. I believe that in the next 10 years or so, they'll be able to do just blood tests and diagnosis exactly where the brain is misfiring, rather than having to slog through herds of incompetent doctors and drugs that turn you into a zombie.

Know one thing, BF, and know it WELL -- there are people here and elsewhere that know what a treasure you are. It's sad that your family doesn't Try to search out and bring people into your life that share the same wonderful heart and soul that you do There are a lot of us out here.

Bless you. BIG HUGS.

Barb