somewhere in my travels someone said "what others think about me is none of my business". I have adopted that and made it part of my arsenal of weapons that preserve me from the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune.

Outrageous fortune seems to be the theme of this thread, although its hard to tell just what who is moaning about sometimes. I've been wandering around in a sort of blue funk myself the last few days...chemistry in my brain working overtime.

About two weeks ago I had a conversation with a guy I shared a house with back in my art school days..or maybe a little later. There was another guy there too who I really enjoyed, a real free spirit -or maybe just a lost soul. He and the friend I ran into were best friends. My free spirited friend committed suicide two years ago. I was stunned to hear this. Two weeks later I am still stunned.

I can be a real Pollyana at times...and in fact my name is Joy. How's that for a life long designation. Who said God has no sense of humor? Albeit a little twisted at times. ...

I have observed that life is a series of hills and valleys, to use an ancient metaphor,(similie?) and while we are climbing the hills we are too busy to get into trouble, and when we are at the tops of the mountains we are captivated and amazed by the sheer genius of the force that created all this. But then we start the downhill decent, which takes us to the valley of the shadow of death, a truly dark place. and if we get stuck there ...well then threads like this one emerge. The best thing about this thread is that it brings other lost souls out of the woodwork and they can huddle together to keep each other warm. Misery "loves" company..the magic is in the love. Now when we get enough love, we gather our wits about us and we have the resources to travel on until we find ourselves out in the sunlight again.

It is a burden in this life to be too intelligent. Intelligence interferes with our ability to navigate through rough waters, or down a steep incline when we come to them....and we all come to them. Intelligence acts like a magnet thrown into sophisticated highly tuned electronics, drawing us away from our spiritual roots, and our spiritual roots is where we find lovearticularly love of/for life.

Now on the subject of love, if you can't find anybody to love you, it may be that you will have to love yourself. So break out of the shell you've built around yourself and have a love-in. Go find a mirror and tell yourself how beautiful you are, how gifted you are and how glad you are to be you. Put on a John Fogerty CD and dance your brains out. Eat whatever you want....have a party. Invite us all to the party. We'll come (maybe just a cyber party)!!

I don't know about you, but I'm feeling pretty good now. Remember: your only as pathetic as you allow yourself to think you are. Feel free to go hang out with your dark side from time to time. It needs love too. But come back to the party after you're done... I think I'll go eat some oreos now!

Love to all of you..J