Melody..Ive been sober in AA for 18 years..He will get sober if and when its his idea..Thats all there is..You and his family are powerless over his alcoholism..You will not stop it no matter what you do if he is not ready..We get sober by the Grace of God, and we stay sober through the willlingness to apply the 12 steps to our lives with God's help..All those close to him can do is go to Al Anon to deal with their grief, and keep the faith..Sorry that I dont have a magic answer, but that is the crux of it