Julie,
Its good to hear from you

Depression is a very nasty thing that hits many, if not all people at some time in their life. Your DH has been the strong one, the bread-winner, the one to see that you and all the kids were healthy and safe. He has been in a state of weakness from this surgery. He must also feel at a loss of what to do to help the one he loves most...you.

May I offer this thought?

Time for you to be the strong one. Take care of everything. The house, the kids, the home and most importantly...him. Sometimes in life we have to be the strong one, even when we don't feel we can muster it up. I've been there, and I know how hard it is to carry the burdon. Tell him that everything is okay even if it's not. You will take care of things before he knows there has been a problem, thus he will not be consumed or stressed by things for now.

I'm sensing that he feels at a loss of how to be a good husband and father when everything he does reaps no reward (at least in his mind). We know only peices of your life of course, but maybe if you can offer him hope that the future looks good, that you have come to terms with your daily plate full (seems you have over the past few months)...and that you love and cherish him for the man he is to you and the kids...maybe then he'll get out of bed and get back to himself.

I hope this helps somehow...I could be way off...but I know when my DH was depressed a few years ago, it was only when I came out of it, that he followed.

Try to be strong sweetheart and be good to him


EDIT: PS: If he is still in pain this long, he should see the doctor to make sure everything healed right too!!!!