I found some sites and info on how to tell -

[Do you have to be an alcoholic to experience problems?

No. Alcoholism is only one type of an alcohol problem.
Alcohol abuse can be just as harmful.
A person can abuse alcohol without actually being an alcoholic—that is, he or she may drink too much and too often but still not be dependent on alcohol. Some of the problems linked to alcohol abuse include not being able to meet work, school, or family responsibilities; drunk-driving arrests and car crashes; and drinking-related medical conditions. Under some circumstances, even social or moderate drinking is dangerous—for example, when driving, during pregnancy, or when taking certain medications.]
http://www.medicinenet.com/alcohol_a...lism/page3.htm

http://www.alcoholandfamilies.org.uk...ted_others.htm

http://alcoholism.about.com/od/about/a/alcoholism.htm

http://www.alcoholscreening.org/