I'm sorry that there was no news that could lead to treatment, but I can see some relief in no longer having to pursue a diagnosis, and having doctors you believe in, who tell it like it is.

You're surely a fighter, no one would ever, ever doubt that; you've had more stamina through this than I can imagine ever mustering for myself. And being alone with this is the hardest.

I do hope the team you are with is able to make arrangements for you to have whatever companionship and nursing care you need. I didn't like reading that they were telling you to "make plans". Can't they make the plans?

Also, I'm hoping you are able to get TPN. I know you've always resisted the idea, learning from the gastro community of all sorts of complications, but it could help your strength, and doens't have to be forever, unless you feel so much better you want it indefinitely.

Kmeb, you are an amazement.