Its is so hard to loose a pet - they are part of our families - they depend on us - they love us unconditionally - and its so hard too to see them suffer when sick and sometimes we have to make the decisions for them.... I know you were a wonderful Mom Cathie - and if she was in so much pain at the end - you can comfort yourself knowing you gave her a wonderful life and also was able to relieve her of the pain.... It will hurt - it probaby feels like a big raw hole right now in your heart..... but cry as much as you want - and remember too that in time you'll be able to smile about what a blessing she was to around and how much happiness you gave to each other.. sending hugs....