I applaud you, dear friend. (I don't have the Bipolar, but MS and other baggage) You certainly have seen the light and recognized the enemy.

I had to find out the hard way. You can't do the same thing over and over and expect the results to be different. A positive change must take place. Being brave enough to confront those ghosts and lay them down for good.

You've made the first step. Next I would start writing. (I've praised the power of keeping a journal/diary again and again). It gets all the stuff floating in your head onto something solid that can be reviewed. My first one helped with recovered memories. And sharpening my focus.

I don't know if I've helped. But I wish you the best in this, tritone.

Fight back.