Yes, it is so difficult to watch the ones we love best, not reach their full potential (as perceived by us, anyway).

When my DD18 dropped out of school and "joined the circus" (she actually was a salesman with one of those traveling outfits that go door-to-door), I knew she was not safe. She did have a boyfriend who, after 4 years, got her pregnant. He told her to "Go home and die."

For the years leading up to that day I feared that when she finally did come home, it would be in a body bag.

The pregnancy was rough b/c the baby had gastroschisis (hole in the abdomen). Dr. said he'd recommend termination. She kept him and he is a bright and cute little 9yo now.

Happily, she married (met on eHarmony) and they just had her 3rd child.

Through the years I (like you and most good parents) spent a lot of time worrying about my four kids and their poor choices: drugs, cigarettes, liquor, tattoos, dropping out of school, divorces, children out of wedlock, etc. etc., but they've finally settled into married life and are good providers, parents and spouses.

The best advice I ever got? I went to a clergyman and rattled on and on how my son would go to jail if I didn't intervene, blah blah blah. He just sat there and smiled. When I finally shutup and asked him what to do, he gave me the words of advice that I would keep leaning on: "Just love 'em."

I did and I do. Just love 'em. I backed off and let them make their mistakes and learn from them, just like I was allowed to do when I was a young person.

Well, didn't mean to use up all the thread here, but just wanted to reassure you that, though we worry about them, kids usually turn out just fine. Your loving the girlfriends is definitely cause for celebration! Everything will work out, you'll see.

You've given me an idea, Corkybird. Going to start a "best advice you ever got" thread. Thanks and best wishes to you and your family.