Thank you,

Moose - yes, writing is definitely helpful to me. It just seems to get to a point where I need some external feedback and reassurance.

Mari - this all sounds very interesting. Mindfulness and distress tolerence. Sounds like exactly what I need. I will investigate this.

Bizi - yes, I think there is some truth to all of the things you mentioned. I don't know about hypomanic in the classic sense - but there are certainly elements. I'm actually calmer at work. No, not sleeping terribly well. The depression this morning was horrific but very short lived. I 'thought' myself through the depression and then on to writing this post - and afterward I felt much better. I also called in to work and said I would be late and then went back to sleep for two hours. Not exactly 'perfect', but I didn't blow off the entire day and sit around feeling crummy. So - I did what I had to do to manage and then I went on with my day. I saw the PDoc tonight. That was somewhat reassuring. I'm also in a new therapy group - I immediately hit it off with the leader; but then found out last night they are splitting the group up. So I called him tonight and asked him if I could stay with him instead of moving. We'll see. He's got some stuff in his past as well and I feel like he just gets it - I don't have to explain, he understands and he recognizes the work I've already done - in addition to really having his own stuff together. Ruminating and obsessing are nothing new for me. These are things I'm working on. These are things I was medicating previously...