I went om Mirapex in 2005 and within 3 months I was a cripple. I could not dress/undress myself or get into bed without help. I went off it for 3 months and foolishly went back on it because my neurologist insisted it was all in my head.

Once again within 3 months I was a train wreck (Rosebud's very apt description), only far worse. My weight dropped 25 pounds in 3 weeks. I started having delusions and hallucinations and freezing for hours. I crawled around the house on my hands and knees (I couldn't walk) and peed in a bowl in my bedroom. I started bidding on E-bay (something I had never done), once for 48 hours straight. I ordered all sorts of stuff from other web-sites as well. I can't even look at a flyer now without feeling sick.

I tried getting into a hospital only to be given anxiety drugs and sent home. Once they sent me to the Salvation Army homeless shelter and I was put in with female crack addicts and alcoholics. I was happy to be there because I was terrified being left alone.

I did end up having a breakdown at home, by myself. Following the breakdown I had a new problem. Credibility. Now I had emotional problems thrown into the mix. By the way I was treated or not taken seriously it was obvious that these false assumptions regarding my mental and emotional health were on my electronic medical file. A file that follows you around.

When I moved I went to 4 go-sees and not one of the doctors accepting new patients would take me on. Too complicated. It wasn't until I ended up in emergency and told a female doctor that I was opting out of the medical system because I could not get any help. It was pretty damn obvious I was in desperate straights. Within 2 days I had Home Care and things started to turn around.

I will never forget how I would sit on the floor hour after hour crying because I didn't know what to do. It has been over a year since I stopped taking Mirapex and addressing the whole drug issue as my treatment that I am finally making my way back. I don't know where I found the strength. I could be in assisted living right now and I knew that was where I was headed. And that was the fight that I had to win.

Bonnie