The IEP went well, but I've had a lump in my throat since it's been over. Either PMS, stress, or both. I wasn't going to post, but you all have been so there for me. I couldn't not post.

No one denied what I said, Barb your advice was dynamite and I should have done that...I got a teeny bit of time to talk at the end...but since they had an agenda (how do they have an agenda for an IEP I called? Know what I mean?) they did cover most of what I'd planned to. As I spoke at the end, people wrote furiously...I plan to write a 'thank you' letter that expresses all the impressions I got from the meeting, like "so we agree his math skills currently are a bit less than in second grade per his IEP...and we agreed in a 20 min observation he was able to attend 5 of it.

I recorded the IEP, so that will be sooo much easier now.

Gina, follow Barb's advice....and remember I've been to IEP's for two kids. And it started with Vince 6 years ago. No one was more surprised than me, when I read his IEP last night and actually understood it. Took 6 years, so that was a first.

The hugs issue will be handled by his therapist, who I really love, he is such a 'guy' but so professional. He is going to create a process that gradually weans him off hugs, but while doing so replaces the needs the hugs fill. I told the team I didn't agree with it, I think men should hug, hold hands, kiss hello like women...but would go along with it cause I realize we live in a totally repressed society that pays cable stations to see that kind of action. Yeesh. I hoped they'd work with the uncomfortable staff being as they expect Vince to understand it should work both ways.

The therapist said the funniest thing today after the IEP. He reminded Vince that it was his turn to pick an activity and he was going to choose the arboretum...so Vince was like "I'm not going there I want to go fishing"....well eventually the therapist was like "well you're going dude" and Vince is like 'you can't take me, you can't take me down' and the therapist said "I may be wearing an argile sweater but I work out at the gym two times a week, let's go, I'll take you down, come on" And Vince who would usually dive at the chance was like a stone man typing on the puter...it was all I could do not to laugh my brains out. Mr. "I'm gonna take you dooooooown" duped by and oooold man of 30. HEe hee.

I took extra sleeping pill so if I post weird it's that, not drunk. Geez, I wish. Cripe I heard a Hendrix song come on when I was cleaning in the kitchen and it was all I could do not to roll some oregano in a post-it, light it an hope for the best.

So, I'm not quite me (after IEP stress) but want to at least post below a letter I wrote to his consultant. There was a slight problem after the IEP, things got 'ugly'. I'm guessing it's fixed now. But, I'm not sure. Think of the below as written by an adult on the spectrum (which I am).

Thank you again so much, for doing the conference call. I can't wait to see the papers you'll be sending (Ongoing Appraisal). I thought the IEP was ok, but, I called it to express my concerns, and was frustrated I got only the last 5 minutes to do that, especially after typing sort of an outline for myself of the things important to me to say. The good thing was, regardless of that frustration, the 'chaotic mind' topic and ongoing appraisal idea (I think) is about the most pivotal thing that could benefit Vince at school right now.

After the IEP, things got a little ugly.

I was trying to observe Vincent, when I was twice asked to come and talk about observing Vincent, and guidelines we will have to discuss, and so on...the reasons I couldn't observe him changed many times. First cause the aide was not comfortable - I said fine have staff with me. Then it was an issue of the privacy of other students being violated - I said fine he has so much 1:1 time I'll come only then. Then it was "well another student might enter the room" so I said regular moms in my neighborhood volunteer and TEACH my daughter the extra things she has in her day from her IEP...privacy don't seem to be an issue then and neither does a teaching certificate. I stressed I wasn't trying to spy or be a problem, that not to be picky but his IEP does state I should get a video tape of him achieving IEP goals every quarter ever since the beginning of 2005, and I've never gotten even one, so I have to observe.

So, the Principal got involved. She and I have a very bad past report. She closes me in a room (my back was to the door so I knew it after the fact) with her and another staff member and wants to flex with me (she refused to let me observe Vince for 2 years...first and second grade...I didn't know I was allowed to by law so I obeyed). Well Amy, I have to thank you so much, as well as the lady you gave my email to, I think it was April? Who gave me a paper written by an adult aspie, about aversion, and avoiding situations that are stressful...Amy, ordinarily, when boxed in like that I get loud and argue my point, and everyone gets me on so many topics and so far off track it's a disaster that I always wind up the villian in. It's like I don't realize I can leave, I just get all overwhelmed in every way in my head. This time I headed for the door, clearly and at a regular tone said "Move away from that door" and everything got black except the door and I left. I 'FELT' a bad scene about to happen. I have no idea why, guess I had a 'dynamic system' window. I still feel very shakey like I just got in a huge car accident or something like that, and this was close to 12 hours ago. I'm trying to block it out, cause my ongoing appraisal seems to be on the fritz, ya know? I went back later that day and had no problem observing.

It's hard to explain, but there's been so much emotion on the topic of Vince and autism and school and home too...well I'm sort of on the verge of tears, I don't know what's up with that cause I'm not sad per say. So, I'm going to have tomorrow be a priority of destressing, do nonautism things (that's a nice way of saying clean the house really good, hee hee). On Thursday, I'll be back on the ball, cause I want to thoroughly read some papers you posted on your RDI site.

Thank you,
Very much,
Lisa