Dear Me BP,

At some point you will be able to forgive yourself and your brother.

Right now I want to be safe. Go to the hospital.
They might not admit you. They might patch you up and send you home.
You need some attention.

If God showed up and spoke to you right now what would he / she say?

In my mind (such as it is ) God would want you whole and tended to.
Wholeness. You are a beautiful person.

Mari