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Senior Member
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 1,900
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Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 1,900
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Hi Wiix! Congratulations on your 16 years!! That is just wonderful!!!
I love to read on here...it makes me think and rejoice in the fact that I am sober!! I would not trade the sober life in...I love it!! It is a shame that so many years are wasted but I am just so grateful to be able to enjoy my life now!
When you spoke of compulsion it made me go back.
Never could I stop after the first one. Never. I always took it to the limit...if the booze was running low I would get crazy...I learned quickly to plan ahead....I was to the point at the end where I would buy a 26 oz bottle of tequila and a mickey. That way if I finished the 26er I had the mickey to fall back on.
I could not share my booze...again the fear that I would not have enough.
Many times I planned on quitting and really truly meant it and wanted to but 48 hours was all the time I could stay sober without panicking....I did not know my life without alcohol in it and I was too scared to go thru withdrawl. I did not know how to have fun or relax without it. I could not even meet and date people without my liquid courage!! I needed booze to function.
When I did finally get sober...I was drained and could not go on....no one really wanted to be around me any more....I put drink before my family, my friends, getting a job...I put it first...before anything.
I only hope more people could get to the point I got to and become willing to go thru whatever is necessary to get sober.
Drinking reminds me of toothpain....when you pull the teeth...the pain is gone. When you stop drinking and get help...the pain eventually goes away too!!
Just for anyone interested who is reading this....compulsion...yup that as me...had to drink...could not run out. One time when I did run out of my booze I was desperate....someone had a 1/2 beer and put cigarette butts out in it....I picked the butts out and yes I drank it..I needed it! I had to!!
I just can't see someone non alcoholic doing that? Me...I did ...I am an alcoholic and those were things I had to do to feed the compulsion!!
Thank you God, for my sobriety!!!!!!!
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LOVE DORRIE!!
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