Thank you DM.

Like you I have good days and bad. In regards to my friend I know that I was a good friend, and I have only good memories, but for my brother, it's a whole lot different.

Sometimes I get teary and think about words that could have been spoken but never were. Things that should have been forgiven that never were. Discussions we should have had, but never did.

It's all too late now, and knowing a little about my family traumas, you'll know that my sister has always caused me a lot of pain....... Well, know she tells me she intends doing to me exactly what my brother did. If she dies before I do, she has left instructions that I not be told about her death. We're not even estranged. We speak to each on the phone every week or two, and email each other several times a week. We live in different states so getting together is difficult, but you may remember she refused to come visit me a couple of months ago when she was here to visit her friends. It would have taken an hour an half to drive here to see me after my operation!

I just don't know what I ever did to my family to deserve all these rotten things they've put me through.