Ok I really need to understand this OCD . In many ways I do understand it but I have some compulsive behaviours also . but am really affected by my sons habits I will losly use words because I am not sure of his ocd thing . He has just left home but I am still affected . He talks about germs . I rationalize he is educated and worked in food production eggs raw product and you can die if eggs are eaten raw or if you get seminela . But when He is around he doesn"t open his hands and it is a contant conversation , I have been called " dangerous" by him .because he will observe me and watch me (I guess ) because he will say thats not clean , constant comments . he has a facination with biology also and got top marks in school and secretly could have enjoyed being a mortcian . he is never cruel to animals . He as a boy never played with toys .He rode a motorcycle around and around the house in constnat movement . he was two at the time . he never really played with toys to my recollection .He is a grown man of 30 yr old si this is really looking back . The thing is I can"t shake the germ thing after yrs and yrs of his " clean thing ' I am beyond effected . I wash everything . This is mostly around food . The counter and the dishes . the stove and cups and forks and spoons. It is very painful .It is not my TRUE obsession but I am constantly aware of germs and dirt and feel shame .and unclean feeling around these issues . I want to not think about this it is not my issue . but it has become my issue . You see alot of his information is true and safe food handling >> turkey , salad dressing..eggsI. The bathroom has become an uncomfortable place because of germs and how unclean a bathroom must be . I get anxiety flushing toilets in a washroom in a store where there is no lid . because I once was told about ths dye they used to put in the toilet , then flushed it and later the dye was all over the bathroom . At home it is different . OH and getting out of the washrrom from a store is really hard flush ( anxiety building washing hands now drying hands ok now how do I get out without touching the knob' I now use a paper towel and throw it on the floor or use my sweater , to cover my hand .I don"t think I have any rituals . BECAUSE I DON"T WANT TO HAVE ANY !!!!!the thought of rituals checking sare me . I mean the behaviuor sounds so suffocating ( anxiety ) If I visit my girlfriend with her 4 kids I cannot eat when they are near me . They are not kept clean in my opinion and she has two cats and two dogs and they just had puppies . worms kids and dirty hands I strip off when I get home because she truely has a dog that had round worm and I have two dogs that are tested and well cared for . Round worm is from farms not your normal worm thing . I am afraid of passing it along on my cloths or feet to my pets . Her daughter took her bandage off her finger and put it in my coffee because it had a wart on it ewhhhhh. I never told her mother.She is a brat but I never let on it bugged me because what if she knew to bug me like that again . She is 9 yrs old .But I sleep with my dogs . go figger it so irrational My sons" "germ thing" to me is really painful . I don"t know how often other people think about germs or washing their hands because I would never tell anyone for fear that they would; just to bug me, scrub my toilet with my toothbrush to be mean .My daughter once at 13 got angry at me and scrubbed my turtle down , with my toothbrush . I did everything to not react even now I keep it a non- issue because of a fear that someone will comtaminte my " something " They will just know that is the worst thing they could do to me beyond hurting my pets . Well this is a good start . but I don"t know if it is a normal response . I mean these are very personal never spoken thoughts and I have lived a painful life with my sons constant germ thing ... judylouwho I ffel like I have croossed a bridge but to where ?????????????????????????????????????????????????? ??????hmmm need to talk to someone who has been there done that . I don:t hoard that much only paper and books and writings and words are very special to me . I am not materialistic .very opposite to this as if rebelling and I am 55 yrs old .....This is very hard for me to talk about this pain I feel like I am bleeding inside broken and bleeding just a feeling ........