I had my spinal fusion in june of this year and after years of chronic pain I was sooooo happy to find a NS that said he may be able to help! I was feeling so good about things and I went in, had the surgery and woke up in He**!
They had many complications during surgery and they were only able to fuse 2 levels due to a swollen epidural vein and then the surgeon nicked the dura of my spine so first 5 days in the hospital I spent flat on my back....(due to bleeding into the spinal fluid) and the nurses were horrible.....they forgot to feed me, never bathed me...refused to give me pain meds (I was on pain pump and some careless nurse turned me and ripped out my central line and I had no veins to stick) and it went on and on! I had no family staying with me so I felt pretty alone!
I went home in 10 days since I told dh how awful it was there so we insisted and dh had a hospital bed set up for me...and then things got even worse.....my legs would just go out on me...I became incont........constipation sit in...I was put on Lryica and lost about 6 weeks of my life (confusion, black outs) and during that time a 19 y/o friend of my ds's gf took advantage of my mental condition and robbed us of meds, a gun, family jewery (can't prove it but she was only one in my room alone) and then just when I think things can get no worse I lost all feeling from waist to the tops of my thighs and also my left arm hand, left leg and foot....went and had a MRI and NS told me I now have Arachnoiditis....! He then put in a call to my PM advising I be put on a pain pump (that was 2 weeks ago and still no word from Pm) and then I came home and began researching the net about this condition and found out it is a progressive desease with no known cure
I have withdrawn from everyone....stopped posting at my low carb forum where I have been active for more then 3 years, daily....and just can't seem to drag myself out of this gloomy dark place that is my life! I make myself bathe once or twice a week....stay in bed most days, just don't care about anything anymore! I have continued reading here and at Bt....put can't bring myself to post until now and even now am not sure I will click the submit button!
I had filed for SSD in may thinking it might be possible that I could go back to nursing if fusion was a success but now I see my career is over and although the new Dx may help be win my claim, the price is awful high. sigh!
I won't lie....the thoughts of ending it all have crossed my mind....but my will to live is still too strong! I do understand there are folks out there much worse then me....but I never thought my life would go so wrong
Thanks for listening!