But for a substantial minority, it’s impossible to let go, and even years later, any reminder of their loss — a picture, a memory — brings on a fresh wave of grief and yearning. The question is, why? Why do some grieve and ultimately adapt, while others can’t get over the loss of someone held dear?


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I have to assume this article was written by someone who has never experienced the loss of someone close to them...

Pictures and memories of my DH bring back all sorts of yearning and grief to me. But I have adapted to the circumstances. Will I ever "get over" it? No. I have had to learn a whole new way of life and grief will always be a part of it. Now, that doesn't mean I go around crying all the time. I'm to a point now where I can control that and I prefer to do my crying in private. It's upsetting to my boys and to my friends to see me like that....and unless it's just a situation where I can't help it....I will save it for when I'm alone.

I'll never "leg go" of my memories or of my grief. For my DH, my parents or my sister. It's a part of who I am now and that will never change.

The worst possible thing anyone can ever say to a person who is grieving the loss of someone they love (relative or not) is to tell them to "get over it". Because they never will....they will just eventually learn to live with it but that is something different for everyone. My way of "living with it" may be totally different from someone else's way. Doesn't make either way wrong - they are just different.

Whatever works for any particular individual....'cause we're all different.