Well, I have sad news again.

I had started another thread "trying to help a friend", but I'm just putting the update on this one. Same people are reading it.

He's back in the hospital. He drove himself because his pancreatitis flared up, he got all infected and he couldn't take the pain.

My friend called me up all hysterical telling me that "if he dies, I'm going to kill myself". Now how do you answer someone who tells you this??

I, of course, told her to go again to Al-anon, that she needs help with this situation. She is in therapy and she said to me 'He can't come home, he can't come home, I have to find a way to get him into rehab".

This just happened yesterday by the way.

Guess what happened today? They gave him librium, his heart stopped racing, he's much better and I have no idea what the prognosis is, but they told her 'he'll make it". He refused to see the social worker. I told her to go and see the social worker and proceed to do whatever she needed to do to put him in rehab. (How stupid was I on this one??).

So she and her husband went to the social worker and asked all kinds of questions. What can they do, How do they get a judge to sign off on this, etc. etc.?

She was told "He's not a danger to himself, and he's not a danger to you". She said 'what do you mean he's not a danger to himself, he's got a death wish going on, he's been hospitalized 4 times in one year. His Pancreas can't take it any more'.

The social worker said "Yes I understand but if he had a gun to his head, then you could have him committed. This is a drinking problem and it's HIS problem".

Then she said "but he's killing us, we have no life". The social worker said "he's not killing you, you are allowing this".

My friend did not understand. I said 'if you went to an Al-anon meeting, believe me you would understand. They would explain tough love to you. They would tell you to stop feeding him, buying stuff for him, etc."

She said: "but I dont' do these things". I then said:"you bought him a gift today". She said: 'but he's in the hospital, he's my son".

I just said (this is on the phone because she lives in another state). I said "you need to attend Al-anon meetings." "you need to listen to what they have to say, and apply it".

She just said "well, we have no rights, we have to let him come home, and if we go to Family Court (the only legal way to evict him), it will take 6 months to one year, BUT I CAN'T ABANDON MY CHILD"

This says it all!!! She wants him to voluntarily go into rehab and that's not happening.

We really thought that this time, there could be a judge signing off on SOMETHING. I gather this is not the case.

Good Lord.