Oh Man. That's rough when the Mom and the son both drink. You can't help either of them Melody. You are probably better off staying out of it.

As far as the son saying he can't DO Rehab and he doesn't like AA, I can understand that too. Sounds like he needs to get away from EVERYONE.

My Dad stopped on his own. He was never a social kind of guy. He always drank off by himself somewhere, not in bars but out in his car or truck or in his shop. He had lots of places he could go to be alone. But he finally stopped when HE came to the conclusion that he's had Enough. He actually said that to me and my mother. He had 40+ years of sobriety when he passed away.

I quit on my own this time too BUT I had the benefit of the tools from AA from previous attempts. I think over a period of about 20 years I did stop 3 times before for varying lengths of time. Once for 6 or 8 months and two other times, one for 2 years and one for 4. All those time I was active in AA. This time I was only the first 3 or 4 months.

Tell him and tell his mother, or better said, ASK them, can you go one day without a drink?? Then ask " Can you just NOT drink TODAY?" See the deal with this is that if you keep saying that everyday, you string days together then weeks then months then years then decades but ONLY if you can "NOT DRINK TODAY".