this is bawbwa wawa (here's a tribute to you, Gilda)
and this, is the latest NT Headline News:

arrcyn was on trial for lead poisning but then acquitted.

after the trial she confessed that it was arrcynic poisoning but she is spared a second trial because of double leprosy

twinkietoe's DH wore canary puppet toe warmers to sleep one night and twinkie woke up in the middle of the night craving and now she and her DH are both in the surgery room getting prepped. Her DH is hoping to get his toes reattached and but only after the surgeon removes them from twinkietoe's ummm...gastric area (keeping it PC for kicker).

Taffy Laffed all the way to the candy store but was mistaken by the store owner as a renegade candy. She is now on display next to "Now & Later" for $0.25

Our newest reporter, kicker, who is very politically incorrect, will be donating her blood at the first annual motor oil drive.

now, a word from our sponsor:

this should perk you up...