Thanks Cindy, but I'm already the village idiot. The amyloid also attacks my brain, and it will only get worse. My mother was child-like.

I also hold a lot of resentment against narcotic drugs regardless of what the law says - legal or not, it's an escape from reality. I don't want to hide - I want to live while I'm still here. Besides, I don't tolerate alcohol or medication very well - no real benefit, only bad side effects.

My mother became an alcoholic and addicted to sleeping pills. She became mean, unpredictable, and made a complete fool of herself in public. It caused her to become explosive. At one point, they locked her up in a closed psychiatric ward for a few months and pumped her up with more drugs to make her "behave." It didn't work. Eventually, everyone turned their back on her. You know the deal with so-called "addicts" - can't do anything with them if they don't want to help themselves.

If I become homeless, I stand a much better chance on the street if I remain sober. If I become addicted to alcohol or morphine, I won't stand a chance in finding a compassionate heart to keep me company.