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Magnate
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Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 2,871
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Magnate
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 2,871
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tritone
Hi Mari -
No, She asked my son to keep track of when his Mother was going out and leaving him to be in charge. She probably shouldn't have asked him to do that. When I was 6 and 7 my parents got divorced. It was very difficult, and since then any inter-familial tension has been EXTREMELY difficult for me. That event (phone call) plus the depression from the benzos, knocked me right back 35 years...
I've been seeing my PDoc much more frequently and for longer sessions. I am continuing to stay of the benzos. I'm taking a slightly higher dose of lithium.
I've been trying to do things like deep breathing. I had mentioned the Eckhart Tolle book and the idea of mindfulness... I've also been doing some research on the dialectical therapy you mentioned. I've been suffering from some minor but highly aggravating physical issues, but those seem to be improving. I'm taking a very different tack at work. I cut way back on my caffeine. I really need to start exercising again, but between the probation appointments, and therapy, and the doctors, and work its tough to fit much else in... or at least fit it in and have any time at home with my wife... i'm a bit on thin ice at work due to the absences and the mysterious hospitalization (I can only wonder what they are thinking about that...).
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T,
We can not change the past and can only go forward. THere are many available good doctors and support groups, but you have to like yourself. I mean that you close the door to those things in the past you can not change and desire to be the best person you can be today and tomorrow. One day little steps. But, ther has to be a burial of all the past. Don;t replay it like a movie, this just builds in your body the strength to control the same way you practice a golf swing.
From my professional experiance, your wife was not acting proper to ask this of your son. I can understand why she did it, but it is for the professionals to establish. Kids should at all times not be in the middle of their parents legal matters. Let them be kids and do the battle for them behind the scene.
At 15 years old, even with Adhd there may be a fine line for them to determin if he is babysitting for a younger sibling, is it Ok. That is not our determination, it is his doctors and the system let them do their job. Kids don't want to be in the middle! I work with those kids.
Keeping your appointments, distancing and just being there for support. But, give yourself permission to do someething for yourself. The probation is maybe a once a month, the TDoc, Pdoc visits should be primary focus right now to help you regroup and prioitize your life.
Also, your children do not need on top of everything else to deal with a parent to be taken from them.
All this shall pass. If you have a spiritual belief then cling to it. Tell your wife the refocus is about you, her and your life and get done things in theorder. You employment to keep your home, a group therapy and professional real good doc. The pain doc should help you with refering for biofeedback and support breathing that they will work with you instead of trying to remember it.
I learned putting my hand on my low tummy was not right positioning, it is mid way on the diaphram. This is how babies breathe, and we should. We lose this at sometime. I think I lost it when I transitioned from highschool to working my own beauty shop business but controling Mom that drove me to work in the car I bought! I had perpertual fear of her....She beat me, a lot, injuring me. Even into adult hood I had scars from her scratching and digging fingers into my arms. Until I remarried 16 years ago. I am now 53.
But stop playing the movie reel of the past, look at the dreams of the future. Your Tdoc can even suggest how to handle the media and things a work.
We may never have the answers to somethings, and need to be put to rest.
Pray, present a strong person to the family, be that person through all the means available.
These feeling come from letting that movie of life past mistakes replay. Turn it off, become our own advocate and watch what goodness you can create. Desire it, live it, find it.
di
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Pocono area, PA
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