I know this woman since she's 21 years old. She lost a child in her youth and we've been friends. I also lost my own son to addiction. I have found productive ways to deal with stress and we speak on the phone every day. She has asked me what she should do and my answer has always been "go to Al-anon meetings".

I'm not trying to mediate anything. He now calls me thinking I will turn on his mother. I told him the truth and I stand behind what I said.

There is a difference between being a friend to someone and being a co-dependant.

You probably get the impression that I am trying to mediate because I came here asking for advice on what to say to the kid if he calls me again.

I didn't want to say the wrong thing to him.

Oh, just to update, the guy is home, locked up his bedroom and won't talk to anyone. He signed himself out against doctor's orders. He is swollen, can barely walk and his eyes are bugging out of his head.

He is a very sick individual who won't listen to anyone.

The fact that he could die is a very frightening thing for EVERYONE to even think about.

You did what you had to do to separate yourself from your mother. In this particular case, the guy wants his parents to leave him alone .....then he comes home and lives in their house, expects them to wait on him hand and foot, make him meals, and then he shouts to the world "don't get in my business??!!!

I don't think so.

And let me ask you a question. You say it sounds like I'm trying to mediate this family. What do you think an interventionist does. He speaks to the people involved and gives them the information to deal with whatever they have to deal with and gives them the tools to work with.

My friend knew that I went through much of this with my own son and she knew I went to Gamblers Anonymous, and that I even have my forum and I help other parents.

I see nothing wrong with helping people if they ask for it. But only if they ask for it.