For someone dealing with intense suffering, hearing this is torture, but I can't agree more.

tritone, if you're open to trying new things I suggest you visit They have a great (free) tool for dealing with painful emotions called Emotional Freedom Technique. I was skeptical when first told about it, but it's helped me let go of so much emotional baggage that I can't recommend it enough.

Sorry if that sounded like an advertisement, but it's helped a lot of people heal and if there's any chance it can do the same for you, you deserve to know about it.