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dorrie · 07-06-2008, 12:14 AM

Hi Mama Mel
The members of this forum are so correct!
No one can help this fellow right now. He has to truly want to get better...untill then..nothing will help other than people in his life seriously washing their hands of him! That could really help but again...he has to want to stop.
I have had several sponsees in AA. One has almost 7 years of sobriety and one just does not get it. The first one was obviously ready. The second one has Childrens Aid Society on her butt so she attends on occasion but she does not want to get sober. She has lost her 2 girls now...their dad ha full custody. Her son has been placed in foster care for months before. He is back home and she has a baby now who is 10 months old....she is not allowed with her kids on her own. She is so close to losing these beautiful children and it still does not stop her. Her mom lives with her and she takes full advantage of her. Years ago when I was drinking daily my brother walked in my home and took my son away from me....I kept drinking. I used to go to the bar when my kids were both under 10 years old. I used to put a note on the back of the front door saying I would not be long I was out doing something very important. I would roll in around 4 or 5 am. Anything could have happened...but I needed to drink. I did alot of terrible things that I do not feel I need to discuss but they were bad and it did not matter because I could not think of anything else. I never even went to any events at school...not even meet the teacher night!! My kids friends were terrified of me!!
Melody...you are such a caring lady....it is hard to wash your hands of friends but we can keep the faith that they will one day get better.
These people do not know how fortunate they are to have you in their lives...I hope the day comes when they come to you for real help...in the meantime they greatest thing you can do is distance yourself and let it unfold the way it is supposed to!!! Some would say "Get outta the way and let them fall!!!"
I love ya Mel you dear sweet lady!!