Sorry DMom. Men can behave so stupidly.
My good friend finally divorced b/c he had a girlfriend (several, actually). He married the girlfriend, then came to his ex looking for sex. Go figure! The guy just had to be untrue or it wasn't a good time for him, I guess.
Good luck to you. I hope you can achieve your goal/desire to become independent.
Men: can't live with 'em. Can't shoot 'em.