Moi

Did you have any ugly homeless strangers dressed in rags and flailing their arms at your wedding? LOL/jk This isn't about race/culture - it's about "ugly" homeless people. If/when I join them, no one will be able to pick me out of the crowd - not even my friends here.

Please don't take this personally. "Judging with love" is an instruction I hear a LOT from people everywhere, and it confuses me. They can never give me solid examples of how it plays out in real life. They can't explain how it would apply to judging MY life, especially when they don't know the history of my life. They don't understand the consequences of judgments - the ripple effect that follows.

I realize my situation will also fall into a "unique case of it's own." When I was younger, I was able to run. I can barely walk now. When I was younger, I didn't appear as frightening as I do now and I had better control over my emotions and table manners. I don't stand a chance on the streets, and carrying a gun for protection isn't the answer either. Homeless people are not allowed to carry weapons.

I'm sure somewhere along the line her family considered her too much of a burden or didn't have the ways and means to take her in themselves.

There's no way my son would be able to support me - hasn't even gone to college yet. There's no way I'd go live with my sister - I love her too much. She gets physically ill when people eat with their mouths open - my food often falls out of my mouth now as it is when I eat. She also does not have the ways and means to care for me either. The same goes for my in-laws and friends. The only friend I know that would and could take me in is dying.

I won't place my life in the hands of charitable organizations because I don't trust them to treat me as a human being - they never have, why start now? The same goes for medical institutions because they will eventually get tired of me and place me in chains (or leather restraints). My doctors care very much, but they also know there is nothing they can do for me.

I'd like to know there are other people out there who are not afraid of people or too busy to be bothered with people whose attitude or appearance is too "ugly" for their taste. I'd like to be able to identify who would be willing to keep me company on the streets without trying to smother me in one form or another. In my book, someone who can truly judge with love is someone I'd like to know out there when I'm all alone.

So, yeah, a little angry and scared here because I'm cornered and at the end of the line. On the streets, I will be judged harshly. It may appear I hold hatred inside me, but I don't.

Maybe I made the mistake of using your words in the title and giving you a heads up this is not about you. This is absolutely not about you or anyone here. I just wanted to hear what others thought about "judging strangers with love."

Maybe it's not possible to judge others with love.