Gina:

I know by the time you read this, you will be back from your appointment at the Cleveland Clinic. I hope and pray that they are able to give you relief. You have suffered with no relief for so long.

I think that most people probably relate to illness as something you recover from-like a person who had an appendectomy last month and now you cannot even tell anything was ever wrong with them or the person who was coughing and hoarse last week, but is fine this week.

When you are suffering from a chronic illness, especially one that has no visible cause, it is tough for people to understand that there is a sick person there, who may be suffering terribly, when they look normal on the outside. Even family members who are close may have difficulty understanding this. Your mom also may be very frustrated that she cannot do anything to help you feel better.

I know that you are very frightened, particularly since no one has yet to figure out what is causing your severe pain and eye problems. If I were in the same spot, I would turn to my mother for comfort too.

I wonder if your psych might be able to talk to her about this and perhaps broker some kind of agreement where you could stay with her at least on a part time basis, just long enough to get you back on your feet. Perhaps an outsider might be able to better explain that you truly are suffering, are very much afraid and are EXTREMELY frustated that so far, no one has been able to help you. The advantage of this would be that this could be presented in a calm manner, with no emotional upset-something that might be might not be posible if either you or your mom get upset discussing this.

Meanwhile, I hope you will be posting the results of your visit at the Cleveland Clinic as soon as possible. I know I will not be the only one here thinking about you while you are gone...

Cathie