It's so hard for non-sufferers to understand.

Really I don't understand what's going on half the time myself. The most insignificant tasks become mountains to climb yet we often look nearly normal. An awful lot of the doctors don't understand either. There was one gastroenterologist who asked me my pain level when he was examing me for a severe case of diverticulitis and was surprised when I told him my pain level was down and only 2 or 3. He said most people with this condition report much higher pain levels. I told him that I was talking about my hand and the diverticulitis was hardly noticeable unless he pushed on my abdomen. He suddenly understood.

It seems that the problems in our lives are wrapped up closely with the disease. I'm not sure which feeds off the other or if our lives just degrade with our health. I think all any of us really want is some understanding and that's the great strenght of groups like this. We may not always understand what we ourselves are experiencing but it seems easier to empathize when others describe their problems.

Scott Terrill has found his peace but the worst part is that I can understand the agony which brought him to this. It's not only a huge price he paid in his final moments but it is society's loss as well.

May he rest in peace.