Robert..The first thing I would have done different is get to a Dr sooner, and get a dx..Of course I never imagined that I had pd, but the reason why I say that is for a couple of reasons..First, the symptoms I was experiencing werent going away, and I knew it..In Nov of 03 I decided that if I was going to stay in the fishing business I had to do some major repairs on my 57 year old 47' dragger..So I stripped it down to the bare hull and rebuilt the whole boat, and not only spent all the profit I made from the previous season, but went on to max out 11 credit cards to boot before I was finished..In May of 04 I was dx, and the boat was 3 months away from being finished..I fished half the season, paid some of the the credit cards off..fished the next season and, got out of debt and had to put the boat up for sale this past spring, and I cant even sell the damned thing for a song..Looking back, I was in denial that something like pd couldnt happen to me..Thats about the only thing that I wish I could go back and change..Had I been dx before I started that project, I would have never spent all that time and money..But we live and we learn

I can really relate to what you said about trying to be grateful for what you can do, but you still get angry..Ive been there and it still comes up for review occasionally..Sometime I will be putting my pants on and I put my leg in the wrong side without realizing it, and try to put the other leg in, and then have trouble getting the weak foot out.. ..Ive learned that is a really good idea to do this only while sitting down.. ..I play the drums..kinda now..That is frustrating, and it has been a measuring stick of my coordination

What Ive really had to do is understand that this journey is going to involve alot of loss..But it can also built character, and allow us to grow personally and spiritually..For me this has been a must..It keeps me off the pity pot..and it is something that I can accomplish without physical restraints..It is an avenue to embrace the life I have with all its losses, and ever changing scenery, and become reasonablly content..We really have entered a dimension of life that was obscured by our former healthy way of life..if that makes any sense

As Chasmo puts it.."Its not the beginning of the end..Its the end of the beginning"