I’m taking 15mg Abilify at noon. I was taking it at 4 but I’m trying noon to see if it helps me sleep more. I toss and turn all night long which gets me so frustrated. I got up at 3am and folded the towels in the linen closet again (4th time this week). Oh the joys of being bipolar. I’m not sure when these will kick in but I’m really frustrated with it right now and myself for not getting up the nerve to tell people I am bipolar. There I said it – I’M BIPOLAR.

I can’t seem to stop moving and my mind is racing terribly. I’m not sure if it’s from the Abilify or the Effexor which I’m still trying to adjust to. I’ve worked my way up to 225 a day but I know this is making me sweat and even more jittery than I already am. I don’t see my PD until Thursday and hopefully he will adjust something here.

I’m ashamed to say this but I’m a “survivor” and don’t want to go “there” again. I hated the hospital and how I was treated and definitely don’t want to get like that again. I just want a little peace in my mind and need to sleep at least 3-4 hours straight just once in a while.

I have a question that maybe can’t be answered but this is all so new to me. Do you have any signs that you are on the onset of mania? I’m not sure if I’m just in a happy mood (and have a fetish about folding towels) or am I heading for a manic episode? I’m supposed to keep a mood dairy for my PD and I’m having a hard time describing exactly what mood I’m in.