Hi...I'm needing input from others.
I'm a stay at home person because of health issues, disabilities and don't get out much.
So going somewhere...ANYWHERE is a treat for me.
My husband works here in the house, holes up in a room across from our bedroom. He comes out only to eat or use bathroom, usually keeps his door closed as he needs total concentration while he's working.
He engineers 911 systems for the big M company and when he travels he rents a SUV...so I don't bug him or bother him unless is urgent.
Yesterday he announced he needed to go into town to get a rental, is 15+ miles there, windy country roads most of the way.
He came out of his home office said "im going into town get a rental car, I'll be back in an hour"...I said "hey, can I go along with you?"...he looked at me sternly and asked "Why do you want to go?"
I was floored by this...actually was shocked that he would question me as to why I wanted to go. I felt like a little child being grilled and questioned as to why on earth I would want to go!
I said "Because I wanted to spend a little time with you, thats why"!...then I got very upset, told him "forget it! I'll stay home, don't want to be with someone who's not interested in taking me and that I had to beg to go along"!
I was very angry and upset by this...he claims was just an innocent question, wanted to know why I wanted to go along.
This happens a lot...my asking if I can tag along, he usually says he's just gonna be gone a few minutes anyway, why bother!
He's gone a lot, but sometimes I go with him as we usually stay at some pretty swanky places with the project pays for it...sometimes at the Westin and usually at the Marriotts.
He's a quiet type person, engineer clear down to the bone!
I know for certain he's not having any affairs on me...he claims he loves me all the time...but when he does things like this, it really makes me feel very distant from him and feel HE should be begging ME to go along, spend time with him! He works about 10 hours a day, goes into his home office often by 6AM, doesn't come out till 6PM...sometimes in there till 10PM only comes out for lunch and supper if/when I fix any.
Please tell me what you think...would you feel hurt if this happend to you?
I've asked 2 of my freinds...they say their husband would NEVER EVER had questioned why and would never said anything negative regarding their wanting to tag along.
This has made me feel like I'm not wanted, that I'm not worth having around.
My self esteeme is pretty low because of being unhealthy, feel I'm such a burden to everyone.
I'm very lonley too...I used to have 2 people here in these forums write to me, but even they no longer want me...talk about having your heart cut out!
Seems no one wants me!
What do you think? How would you have felt if you got the same reaction to wanting to just tag along?
Thanks, cheryl