At this point, in reality, I don't know anything. I don't know that I won't be cured. I don't know that I have an inflammatory autoimmune thing going on. And I do not know, at this point, whether or not I will "go back" to having healthy ankles or not. I just don't know anything. I have zero diagnosis. So I have zero reason to believe I will not be cured 100%. And it's depressing as hell to think otherwise.

I do see a counselor and she has been helpful to me, as these symptoms and the ensuing doctor visits and tests and lack of "knowing" have been going on since last November. Up until then I was someone who exercised everyday, chased my kids into the twighlight and kept up with the house and all its demands. That has been taken away from me. Until one month ago I believed I would have ankle surgery, mend and continue on my way. No, with no quick fix in sight, this has been quite a paradigm shift for me.

I do know self-hypnosis -- I delivered three babies without drugs that way. It is a good suggestion.

Considering the myriad devastating diagnoses that I may be facing, I knew when I posted the negative skin biopsy result that some would respond with something other than "great news!"

Knowing what questions to ask my doctors and what tests to ask for or expect, is very helpful. The suggestion that I have something "inflammatory autoimmune" .... I don't know. What illnesses does this refer to? How does this relate to me my ankles? What are the test for such things??

I give thanks for each "negative" test result I receive. I maintain hope and faith that I will recover completely, 100%. Maybe that makes me niave to some. "I cried out to God and he healed me." I'm waiting on Him.

Kris