Thank you all so much! When I got home I was really upset, after I first posted this message I laid down for a few hours and feel better.

I have done a lot of reading, asking questions etc. and I still don't understand as much as I feel I should.....but then again I have become that way with just about everything. I can't simply be told something, I have to see it or read it several times before it "sticks" in my brain.

It is my understanding that I was having a flare when I was first dx'd, the ON hit and all the other sx's started kicking in big time. None of the sx's went away, the ON still comes and goes but it's not a constant like the pain, numbness, tingling, balance etc. Those have never gone away and continuously get worse...so much so that there was a huge difference in the neuro visit 6 months ago and today, that for the first time the words progressive hit me like a ton of bricks. I understand that a lot of things come and go, a lot stay and become part of our routine...but dang it...I don't like that it's gradually getting worse.

Okay I am rambling again...another thing that I seem to be doing a lot more of I just need/want to figure out what is going on and what direction this is heading. I've never been one for surprises...I always wanted a plan laid out in front of me with a map...probably one reason why this is so difficult for me to deal with right now.

I love y'all and appreciate being able to come here and vent, ask questions, whatever...thank you all so much!