You guessed it, SL.

I spoke tonight with my good friend whose wife spends many hours a day on SL. He gave me another take on the thing.

First, he said, it's a place where people are encouraged to be in role, whatever role they want, and however they want. He described it as a real place to play, the kind of play we did as children, but have been blocked out of as we have grown up. The kind of play even children don't do as much of anymore, as their play is more scripted by activities, TV shows, and fixed games.

So, he said, his wife loves to go on and play in role, and people enjoy interacting with her, in role, a lot. But at the same time that they are doing this, playing, they are getting to know each other---through play, much as we did as children. When people find they play well together, they want to add other ways of communicating. SL has several different communications systems which work in parallel with the avatar play. You can im, use voice, and other things he didn't fully describe. So, once you're playing well, you'll generally find you want to get to know the people you are playing with.

You email them, im then, and move more and more personally, if things go well. So she now has phone calls daily from friends she made on SL. (She's from Canada, and just moved to the US two years ago when they married, and is short on local friends). Some people have lived close by, but some are from all over the world, yet they feel they are becoming friends. They talk with each other and play with each other on several levels at once, in character or role, when they feel like it, or as they are in RL, as they feel like it.

It sounded not so much different from what happens here. We meet online in a persona of illness, defined narrowly by how we relate through illness. Some of us begin to pm each other, when things seem salient and appealing. Some we may develop email or phone relationships with, and some, we might even meet.

From Braintalk, I've met a core group of people who I feel clearly are friends. No, not like friends I've had since elementary school, but still, real friends. And that's how my friend feels about her Second Life friends--they've become quite real to her, in her life.

And, not to be undervalued: While Second Life is not a game, it IS play. And we sure do need more of that, just pure imaginative play. So, I've learned a new way to think about it.

Melody---Play to your heart's content; let it be an antidote to all the pain you have in your day. Just as your meatloaf is an antidote to all the pain of your neighbors. Though, truth be told, I'm for dovebars.