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Senior Member
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Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: San Antonio
Posts: 1,471
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: San Antonio
Posts: 1,471
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I laughed when I read your first line! Thanks for that!
Thank you for that! I laughed when I read the first line - you're soooooo right! I often catch myself alternating between feeling guilty for wishing someone else had this, and then getting angry (why me,God?), and then realizing it could be much worse, but the truth of the matter is that it is what it is, and there is nothing I can do but try to keep my spirits up and keep pushing for recovery. I never thought I was vain, but now worry about my looks all the time and that is just silly b/c with the help of steroids I can swallow, walk, and do most of the things that I used to do. I think it's more of a control issue for me, simply b/c I no longer have control over my body. My hubby has been the best - simply the best. He tells me every day how beautiful I am  , and has been to every doctor's appt. I've made, but it has been hard on my son - he's just not used to seeing me like this. I was always the young mom - he's 16, I'm 34, so he liked the way I looked before, but he has really matured through this whole thing, and for that I'm grateful. MY father-in-law has actually been the best about this whole thing. When I was in the hospital he was there every day, quietly sitting in a chair, just being there for me. What really surprised me is how many people suddenly became very "busy" and no longer had time for me - my family especially. That really hurts; I'm not contagious, nor will I bore them with "me,me,me" stories, I just wanted company b/c I still get scared, although my neuro has assured me that I will NEVER be as sick as I was when I was admitted to the ICU - he told me that it will be a gradual process, and that he will look after me - plus he is the type of doctor that calls within 5 min. (him, not his secretary) and really listens to me........ I'm going to look into the laser thing TODAY - one less thing to worry about Thank you for your support. I really do love this site - it really helps!
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Originally Posted by Snifhvide
You know - if you can't complain about the side effects of steroids here, where can you?
I think it's important that we recognize that we are no saints. As women of course we want to look attractive (and I guess guys want that too). When we were healthy, I bet we didn't pay more attention to our looks than others, but with moonface and facial hairs on top of not being able to walk etc. etc. - it's just not fun.
I've often tried to tell myself that I'm lucky for being more healthy than others, but that doesn't mean I feel good. Should we make some kind of graded list so only people on top of the list are allowed to complaint? "You only have 2 broken legs and a broken hip - it will mend so you are not allowed to complain or feel sorry for yourself".  Honestly, I think we will do better if we allow ourselves to get angry / sad / etc. once in a while. The trick is not to be so all the time. But letting some steam out now and then is better than building it all up inside because we ought not to feel like that (says who anyway? - if anyone actually says so, they are probably amongst the ones who never had anything but a cold in their whole life).
It's hard with inlaws, I think. I got ill only ½ year after I met my husband, and since then it has only gotten worse. My mother in law once admitted that ofc. she would rather have had that her son had fallen in love with a healthy woman, and now - as a mother of a son - I must admit I feel the same. I would be sad to see him love someone ill, because it does put a stress on the relationship, so it's not her being mean, she is just a very honest person. She also said that she likes me, because she knows I love her son like no one else, and I support him in my own way as no one else can. And that last part I try to remember when I feel embarrassed or sad about being ill. So maybe your face is big now - inside you are still that gorgeous woman your husband fell in love with! And no one else can love and help him through love like you can!
And btw the facial hair can be removed with laser - I've had that done and it works so good. And never was I more happy than when I could stop looking for those big, black spiderleg-hair in my face in the morning, so I could get rid of them before anyone saw me. |
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