Oh, Momma, you shore does tell a fine story 'bout yo' pore naighbor lady. Ain't nevah heard a such a thing as children bein' so overprotective as them. Guess they do mean well, tho'.

I jest got back from eatin' suppah with the Senior Citizens. Them cooks shore did fix a nice pineapple downside up cake! Haven't et one in yeahs!

My dear ole pappy picked me up en his jalopy and dang near scared the breakfast outta me!

It twarnt so bad getting there, but when we left, he pulls out into the wrong lane of traffek and we jest sat there, waiting to mosey on ovah to the other side of the street.

Well... them cars wuz havin' tah swerve into the othah lane to avoid smackin' us. Criminitley! Haven't had that heart-pumping serge of adrenalin sence the last time I rode on the rollah coastah at the County Fair!!!

Pappy will have his 95th birthdey partey in about 2 weeks. Me and my brothurs are gettin' him a high-fallutin' big ole screen tellevishun. And throwin him not one, but TWO parties! But, shhhhh! It's a secrit!

One partey is quite a long spell from this heah country life, clear into the big ole city of Salt Lake. That's where all our kin live.

The othur partey is 2 days latah heah at the church, so all the local yokels ken come have some vittels and kingradulate him on gettin' to be so old!

Momma, does you know how to live to be one hundred yeahs old? Heer's the secrit: First, ya make it to 99, and then ...


...be verry verry keerful!!! Yeehaw!