I hope your back is feeling better now. Do you ever use arnica? You are changing and I think it is so wonderful. I think we need to remember to take baby steps That was a lot of work you did.
External organization i think helps a lot. It is one less thing to pull us down and probably is a form of self nurturance. Nurturing is so important. If we didn't get nurtured as a young child, I think it might be painful to face those feelings when we are older even if intellectually we have always known it. I think the road to self nurturance can be very painful because it forces us to feel those feelings. who knows, maybe I am wrong
Bobby