pleeeeeease, don't don't don't go there! Sounds like you're slipping... badly.

Can you get hold of your pdoc - emergency number?

But, please hear me, if you must go somewhere, please please please go to the ER (different one than where you work if that's awkward), but go now, on your own two feet and tell them your ideas. consider going inpatient. lots of us have. it's a way of being safe and cared for for a while, until things are better - and they will be. please be safe.

Your brother sounds so unsupportive. I don't know your situation enough to blather suggestions on that ... i just wish there were a way to get ACROSS to him how badly you are feeling. Have you, perchance, shared your specific ideas with him, or anyone else around you?

that cookout thing sounded like an awful day, but thankfully, it's OVER. I hope you have a better day today, even slightly better, but better.

hugggs to you... please stay with us, keep posting.

~ waves ~