during a convalescent period, i took a job as a consultant on a 6 month contract - work = get paid, stay home = don't get paid. I became so anxiety ridden over it - felt incompetent, clueless, superfluous, lost, confused... then had some manic sx mix in but no diff.

of 4 months (i then receded from contract) i must have worked 6 weeks ish, NOT continuous, and never a full week at a time. I was bedridden in the morning and when i got there i had anxiety attacks. The bathroom became homebase.

Any job, esp new job, for anyone, is stressful, BUT. The kind of job you are in is EXTREMELY stressful. And stress is like the enemy of depression. I have had anxiety and depression to the point of becoming anorexic - only because my stomach closed and i couldn't choke food down. I became very weak.

Please think a bit on your job... is it something you really want to do? Can you talk to your supervisor about your anxieties... fears of not coping... disorientation in spite of orientation? He/she may be able to give you a comforting perspective?

On a different bent, are you taking any anxiolytics? If you feel you must keep this work, for want or for need, perhaps your pdoc can give you some help in that department. It may "get you over the hump" until the job feels more comfortable. I don't know your meds, but perhaps that or a different tweak may be in order...

i hope my thoughts don't overwhelm you.

more hugggs

~ waves ~