Tracy,

It is hard hon, I know. I've raised 3 kids, 1son and 2 daughters. There were times when (I'm just kidding, but we all feel this way towards our kids sometimes, and that is ok. We don't act on it, we think it lol), that we could kill them and still be happy. I am blessed that all 3 are now my friends, and I would chose them to be my friends.

My mom gave me the best advice about parenthood. She said that my job was to be a mom, not a friend. They will have a lot of friends in their life, but only one mom. She also told me that we are not good moms until our kids say they hate us. (boy was I a great mom). She was a very smart woman. She also made me realize that they must learn to dislike us before they can become their own person and come back to us. that doesn't mean they got away with much. I was still Mom...and I knew all the tricks they tried to pull. then they would say they hated me and wish they had never been born, etc etc etc. I would say "that's ok...I still love you" they would get sooooo mad. Our job is to bring our kids up to be good adults. In order to get there, they have to dislike being with us, and our ideas. then they want to move on to adulthood. If it is too nice for them and they are always taken care of, they don't want to leave us and go on their own. In as much as we would love to have them with us always, they do need to become their own person and move into adulthood, think their own ideas, and try to save the world on their own terms.

This seems to ramble (don't we love rsd), but what I'm trying to say is that our kids seem to be able to hurt us because they know we love them and they are safe with us. Sometimes a hug can help, but if it can't don't take the "I hate you" to heart. They don't, they just have times when they can't tell us in words.

Hugs
Mary