Interestingly enough, I was coming home from shopping (about 1 hour ago), and I have to pass their house. The husband comes our of the house, straight as a ramrod, (no sign of drinking, but I know this doesn't mean ANYTHING).

I see the keys in his hands and my heart sinks. I think "oh no, he's going to take off", but he got in his car and he backed his car into his driveway and went into the house.

I gather sometimes he's functional and sometimes he's not functional whatsoever.

Another thing, I already posted a thread on these forum, titled 'Trying to help a friend".

She's been drinking because her son drinks. I know, doesn't make sense but it makes sense TO HER.

Well she was sober and clean for 5 days. She was taking it one day at a time.

Last night she calls me, and she sounded just fine, when all of a sudden she goes into a spiel about the Catholic Church and kids and pedophiles, and everybody sucks, and she's going on and on, and it hit me and I said "what happened to the clean and sober for 5 days?" and she said: "yeah, I drank today". I said 'how come?" and she said:

"FEAR"!!

I said "what are you afraid of?" and she said: "That my son is going back to drinking, I mean, he doesn't drink in the house but what do I know what he does when he goes out".

I said "you can only concern yourself with what you do, you have no power over his behavior". I then said 'what made you take the first drink after 5 days of not drinking".

And she said: 'oh, I came home work and said "what the hell, I deserve this"

I said: 'that's one of the things that alcoholics say to rationalize their drinking".

She said "Oh I know this".

So I guess she's back to square one. After 5 days.

Really hard isn't it???

mel